


You're My Brother

by lotr58



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: Angst, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 04:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15453330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotr58/pseuds/lotr58
Summary: After their run-in with the Claimers, Daryl contemplates Rick's statement and what it means for him--and for the two of them.





	You're My Brother

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TWDObsessive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/gifts), [Thanks for the challenge!!!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Thanks+for+the+challenge%21%21%21).



> This is for TWDObsessive. We challenged each other to write a short story based on a theme from an episode and this is my offering. Trying to get back into our writing groove!

“You’re my brother.”

The word both warmed him to the core and confused him. He had a brother and he knew what that relationship was like. And it was nothing like what he had with Rick. Plus, the feelings that were pouring off Rick were like nothing he had ever experienced before. His friend—his brother—was exuding more than just brotherly affection. That was obvious. And the hunter didn’t know how to handle that, especially coming on top of his emotional explanation for how he’d come to be with the Claimers. Never one to manage his emotions well, Daryl felt himself shutting down. In this moment that was much easier than actually facing the feelings churning beneath the surface, threatening to overwhelm and overpower him.

Glancing out of the corner of his eye at his friend, he saw him waiting for something. His reaction, maybe? He seemed expectant, a small smile barely touching his lips as he seemed to await a response. Rick was obviously expecting Daryl to do or say something, but Daryl didn’t know how to react. What did he say to this? How did he respond? At the moment, he was emotionally drained. He couldn’t…he just couldn’t.

But even as that thought rolled through his head, Daryl recognized he was feeling something. But what did these sensations stirring inside of him mean? With a start, he realized once again that the look Rick was giving him was filled with so much more than the affection one would show towards a brother. The other man’s eyes were boring into him as if trying to see deep down into his inner soul. Breath quickening, he knew that Merle had never looked at him that way. Brothers didn’t do that. Did they? In fact, Daryl didn’t think anyone had ever looked at him in that manner. And if anyone else had Merle would have put an end to it quickly—with his fists. 

So lost in his swirling thoughts was he that it barely registered in his frazzled mind that all of a sudden, the warmth beside him had increased, his leg and side suddenly inundated with the warmth of another body. Without looking, he realized Rick had moved closer, close enough that their legs were touching. In fact, they seemed to be joined from the hips down and Rick looked to be trying to get even closer, nudging his leg with his own and causing a chill to run up his spine. Trembling at the unfamiliarity of the sensations, the hunter sensed a small burst of pleasure beginning to emerge deep inside, down in his very core. What the hell? 

Suddenly uncomfortable, Daryl glanced at his friend out of the corner of his eye before dipping his head so that his hair covered his eyes. Having no idea how to react or what to do, he realized he needed a moment to process what was happening. Was he actually enjoying this feeling, this touching? Having never experienced anything like this, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. Though he didn’t want to admit it to himself—didn’t want to voice the words—it felt good. The warmth, the knowledge that this was Rick—his Rick. 

Trapped in this dangerous nightmare of uncertainty and danger—this new world they were forced to live in—where fear and anxiety were the norms, it was actually pleasant to experience this other type of feeling. Something positive. It felt nice!

Darting a glance at Rick once again he realized the other man was still staring at him intensely, a small smile on his face. With a start, the hunter realized those startlingly blue eyes were gazing into his very soul. At least, that’s how it felt. And for a brief instant, he reveled in it. But then, reality came crashing down on him, nearly smothering him in its intensity.

Feeling his breathing quicken and his heart rate speed up, he closed his eyes to try to calm himself down. This wasn’t right. These sensations and emotions he was experiencing were wrong. He didn’t want to feel them. He couldn’t feel them. He had to make them go away. Inhaling deeply, he realized those last thoughts had been churned out with a sense of desperation. He had to calm himself down because even as his breathing accelerated he felt himself losing control. He could feel his heart stuttering in his chest, its quickening pace keeping time with his out of control breathing.

What did all this mean? He was a Dixon! A man. These emotions weren’t for him! He just couldn’t feel them. It wasn’t allowed. Real men didn’t experience these emotions. He wasn’t one of those gay pussies. Isn’t that what Merle always called them? Not that they ever really ran into many gay men in their hick town and in the circles they kept. But that was the message that had been beaten into him—both physically and emotionally—from the beginning of his life. Real men were tough. They didn’t ‘feel’ things and dwell on emotions. But, he realized, isn’t that what he was doing right now?

Feeling an arm go around his shoulders and his body being pulled closer to the other’s solid form, Daryl’s thoughts began to spiral, almost out of control, as he panicked. His breathing spiked despite his desperate attempts to regulate it. Squeezing his eyes shut to block out everything around him, one thought went round and round in his mind.

“I ain’t gay. Ain’t no way I’s like one of them fruity guys I used to see on TV. No way one of them would show his face in my town. And there’s a reason for that. That’s not me. It can’t be me!”

Unconsciously leaning into the warmth next to him, his frantic thoughts continued to spiral, to point out all the reasons he could not be attracted to another man. But, even as his train of thought went in that direction, a little part of him kept pointing out the obvious—Rick was nothing like that. In fact, if he really stopped and thought about it, Rick was one of the manliest guys he knew. So maybe he was wrong about this whole thing. Could that be possible? 

And if he was honest and reached down into that deepest, darkest place within himself, these feelings he was experiencing were not new. They’d been there before—for quite some time—but he’d always pushed them down—deep, deep down—to a place where they could be ignored and, hopefully, forgotten. And now, with Rick’s simple statement—“you are my brother” – and his searching look, the hunter realized everything he’d pushed down and ignored for a lifetime—all the feelings and intense emotions—was hurtling to the surface, threatening to overwhelm him and he didn’t know if he could handle it. 

But then, a sudden thought flittered through his weary mind, interrupting his frazzled thoughts. This ‘was’ a new world. Everything was different now and all the old rules were gone. He’d seen and experienced that time and again. And if he was honest with himself he had to wonder—what could be so wrong about something that, even though he was reluctant to admit it, felt so right? Over the course of the last two years, he’d seen so many of his long-held beliefs thrown out the window, so to speak, as he came to realize how wrong he’d been. He’d come to understand that many of his views stemmed from his bigoted, racist upbringing. It was all he’d known and it was his reality. It wasn’t until the end of the world and his associations with Rick and the others—his new family—that he’d come to see how wrong he’d been about so many things. And maybe this was one of them.

A sudden spark of hope ignited deep inside him as he contemplated this idea. Without even realizing it his heart rate began to slow down until he no longer felt as if his chest was being battered from within. Inhaling deeply, he attempted to regulate his breathing once again, until he could finally breathe normally, no longer nearly gasping for air. Opening his eyes and looking over at his friend, he knew suddenly and with no doubt at all that this was okay. It didn’t matter that Rick was a man. All that mattered was how they felt about each other and the connection they had between them—a connection Daryl could feel running throughout his body. 

The other man was still looking at him intensely, affection evident in his gaze. He seemed to understand the troubled emotions his friend was experiencing and trying to handle. With gratitude, Daryl observed that Rick seemed content to wait. The other man was patient, letting him process the situation and handle it on his own terms, in his own time. And he was incredibly thankful for that.

Drained by the emotions he’d expended, his heart stuttering in his chest at the audacity of what he was about to do, Daryl reached a silent decision. Mustering up all his courage, he reached out to grasp his friend’s hand. Feeling the other’s fingers tighten around his own, he leaned closer to the other man, reveling in the warmth and the feeling of acceptance he felt at that moment. The slightest whisper of lips brushing against the side of his head startled him momentarily, but then he realized it was okay. It was alright to feel. He no longer had to hide his true self, even though he wasn’t entirely sure who that was. But he knew, with Rick by his side, he would be free to explore and discover who the real Daryl Dixon might be. 

Glancing shyly at the man beside him, Daryl finally responded, the smallest of smiles gracing his bruised lips.

“You’re my brother, too.”


End file.
